Finished The Cracks last night. Think it's interesting. Should be broadcast on Radio 4 afternoon play slot sometime in August.
This past week I've been wondering if I ever risk failure in my work. And if not then why not. I have to. It suddenly seems the only way to go. Is it being 32? Is it my new cupboard? No. I think it was working with Mark Storor during his residency in Berwick. Learning to be honest, look at what is around you during a workshop and try and treat young people in the same way you would any collaborator. Mark works with various communities and always strives to make work that is taken seriously, making critics and audiences reassess their views of 'community art'.
Work with Mark was followed by watching Taylor Mac at the Arches. Again. You have to risk failure, otherwise you're just making wank. You have to face an audience and collaborate. It's nerve wracking stuff to contemplate. Can I be naked on stage? Actually, being naked wouldn't by risky for me. Nudity is not my fear. Taylor Mac implores you as the audience, as theatre makers, to look at what we really fear. What really makes us uncomfortable. For me, I'm still trying. I want to walk the tightrope, I really do, because I know that's where life can be lived.
Finally at the CATS award I was made to think about failure again. And realised what it is I want to do. A project dedicated to failing. To exploring it. To wondering what makes me scared.